Saturday, November 10, 2007

Looking Back, Looking On...

A milestone of sorts slipped quietly by this week, and I was surprised when I eventually remembered that there was such a thing. What in the round blue world...

It seems that this past week, on Wednesday, November 8th, I had been pottering about here in the realm of blog and posting for two whole years — two years of motley prose, thinking out loud and verbal meandering, two whole years of bad photography: sunrises and sunsets, light and darkness, falling leaves, wild orchids, wandering rivers, incised gorges, herons, winter birds, old trees, marshy shorelines and deep snow. Of my poetry, we shall say nothing.

Such milestones are perhaps unimportant in the greater scheme of things, but they are worth noting too. I found myself thinking this morning of the creature who wandered home from her office on a November day two years ago in dismayed possession of the tidings that her plummy but feverish position in a large downtown firm was being eliminated and her corporate career was coming to an end. That creature was baffled, despondent and more than a little scared, and she didn't have a clue what she would do next — she was clinging to the wreckage and trying to figure out what to do with herself after so many years of frenetic office activity and so little time for real thought.

Daring soul that she was, she decided to start a blog in order to instill a little creative something in the days before her - those future days loomed ominously before her, like dark storm clouds on the horizon.

When she thought about it, she realized that she would have lots of time for meditation, volunteer work, reading, crafts and gardening. She would get out her camera, start taking pictures again and see if she could still sketch, paint, collage and/or put words together. She would walk a little more slowly (surely a good thing at her age), be a little more observant and much more mindful. She would have long conversations with the Old Wild Mother. She would look up into trees and rocks, get down on her knees and peer deep into hedgerows. She would spend her days trying to see into the heart of things, the small incandescent wonders of which life on this beautiful earth is composed. With an open heart, she would embrace the wildness that had been a song in her blood and bones for so long.

I wish I could say that since that time, I have figured everything out or become enlightened, that I had turned into Minor White or Marc Chagall, garnered a Booker prize, discovered a new wild orchid, appeared on the cover of a prominent art magazine or been invited to perform the Elgar Cello Concerto at the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts. None of the aforementioned events has happened - not a single one of them, but I am enjoying this existence immensely, and the vibrant colors and grandeur of life amaze me every single day. I often wonder how I coped with so many years of stress and corporate politics, how I managed to survive for so many years without clear blue mindful days like this one. A loving nod to my resilient earlier self in passing...

Are there great changes ahead??? No, like my Kamakura Buddha out there among the fallen leaves, I think I shall just continue to potter along the way as I have been doing. Thank you for being here with me, for your listening and your comments, for your wisdom and humor, for your friendship. You are more wonderful than you know, and this morning I toast you with my favorite beverage, a large Irish mug of the finest Ceylon tea held high.

17 comments:

Endment said...

Dear blogging friend - what joy you have brought to my life these past two years - thank you and congratulations on this landmark!

Dedri said...

Thank goodness your life changed so you could make all our lives so much more rich and enchanting. You are a great blessing to us, Cate there is not a day that goes by when I am not grateful for your pictures and your words of wisdom. Here's to many more years of pottering about.

Linda G. said...

MY Grandmother ysed to say "it's an ill wind that blows no good."
The downsizeing of your firm has allowed you the freedom to share your life and thoughts with us.
Thank you for your generosity, Cate...and congratulations on your anniversary;)

Peaceful/Paisible said...

two years...that's a great anniversary sweetheart...but please stop talking about your age...most of us are older than you...and you've done so much, gone so far on your path...with you I can see that beautiful country of yours...make me travel...
with much love from Peaceful

Peaceful/Paisible said...

Ps: we would love a cup of tea too !!!!!!

Marcie said...

Cate, How wonderful it is to stop often at your blog and immerse myself in the calm and beauty of your Lanark Highlands. I'm so glad you decided to share your thoughts and photos in this modern version of chatting over the fence rail.

Joanna Powell Colbert said...

Cate, your daily posts are like a Book of Days for me, truly . . . my day doesn't feel complete without checking in to see what beauty and mindfulness you have discovered that day. I'm so glad, selfishly, that the loss of your corporate job led to such beauty.

Anonymous said...

Dear Cate,
I too have been admiring your blog and I do believe that the way things happened was a good thing. Not just for your readers but for you. You deserve to be healthy, calm, wise, etc. I toast you on this anniversary.
Much love to you and yours...

Anonymous said...

cate, you are so dear to so many people who only know your blogging energy, wisdom and vision. i wish we could all stop thinking that if we aren't minor white or a nobel winner etc... that it isn't enough or that we should/could be more if only...
i love following along your path. it branches off of my own you know, so its easy to get there. and it fills me with new insights. or it gives me solace. or it fills me with joy. to you who give so much, i want to say that you give soooo much more than you seem to realize. its a good thing that you do here. you touch many people and give them courage just by being, showing and saying who you are. thank you and happy anniversary and i hope many more will come!

jzr said...

Congratulations on two well spent years and here is many more!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I'll have another helping of "bad" photography, please. I find it very satisfying. :)

Shelli said...

Congratulations & I hope you keep blogging for a long time because I found you only recently.

Rowan said...

The idea of you as a corporate career woman seems totally incongruous, you seem so deeply rooted in the Earth and her ways that one gets the impression that you have always lived this way. As for your poems and photographs, both have brought great pleasure to many, many people - not only those of us who comment but those who just read and appreciate quietly. Many thanks for all your wonderful words and pictures, I hope there will be many more of them.

Lil said...

And this past August Cate, marked a month that I began blogging too. And did you know that you were the first blog I found?? Did you know that I have been coming here...mostly everyday for almost a year...I know you know how much your words and sightful photos...so I also join you in raising a large mug of Roobois Chai to toast finding y(our)self outside the concrete jungle and in Mother Earth's embrace...

*HUG*

Lil

Val said...

I'll raise an answering mug of Earl Grey tea and thank you for your inspiration - and pathfinding. Should I manage to retire from work soon, and even if I dont, your words and images have encourage me to look at the natural world around me in the same spirit. Enjoying all of it, and attending to the smaller details.

And to find we share many views of the world and our inner and outer nature is a bonus, indeed.

A deep bow.

daringtowrite said...

namaste

Anonymous said...

Your blog is an indispensable part of my day; and keeps me at one with what lies at the heart of the matter. Your wonderful words and images are just the best... Keep them coming...