In the heat of the day yesterday, I wandered down to the winding creek below the eastern hill and its secluded pond among the trees, longing (quite simply) for a little shade and stillness and the gentle sound of water flowing downhill for good measure. The longing for those things was almost beyond expression - my silvery head is in a rather tumultuous state these days, restless and in something of a muddle as it always is at this time of the year.
Lately I find myself thinking of of making great sweeping changes of various kinds, of nuking this dear little blog home and starting over from scratch, of removing everything from the Cafe Press and Flickr sites and starting over there too. I consider shaving my head, learning to fly, running away to join the circus, or more likely in August, running off to camp on the northern shore of Lake Superior among the rocks and trees, with only the loons and bald eagles for company. In my dreams I can hear waves hitting the wild shore of Old Woman Bay, and I can hear loons calling to each other beyond the point.
One holds such mutinous thoughts at a reasonable distance by spending meditative time near quiet woodland waters in the graceful company of old trees and little green frogs - yesterday there were frogs in the pond everywhere I looked, and they brought me back to where I should be.
5 comments:
I can empathize with the need for change. Does it always strike this time of year, or is it less predictable?
None of your proposed mutinous activities sounds terribly destructive. The hair thing is always good for reversible breakouts, though I tend to think of - but not act on - impulses toward tattoos and additional piercings. Might do one or both, if only I weren't such a coward about pain.
And where exactly is it you should be?? Are you a fire sign?? Although we are past the height of it's intensity and it's pull, I find (being one myself) that this season in particular always pokes that yearning within me to change...something, anything, EVERYTHING! I don't know what it is...but it's as palpable as what you have described here..so I too can relate. IF you do start from scratch, please PLEASE let us know where we can then find you again!
Lil
The weather has changed. Feels like Fall. Everyuthing you mentioned, sounds good-EXCEPT- don't shave your head.
Go over and start a new blog. You have matured some more since this one. You are in a new place.
I get meloncoly in the Fall too.
of nuking this dear little blog home and starting over from scratch
I started over from scratch with my blog recently. I'm a very different person than I was when I started the blog and I wanted to leave it behind. After doing so I realized that who I am today is because of the journey from yesterday. I ended up importing all my old blog posts into my new blog. The time and expense were a headache, but a learning experience for me.
It's certainly up to you, but I thought I'd offer an opinion from the "other side."
If you do move, I'd really like to know where you go. I'm enjoying your writing very much.
kay
Indeed, a fire sign, Sagittarius (double) with another fire sign thrown in for good measure - Leo.
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