Friday, July 22, 2016

Friday Ramble - Fragile

This week's word comes to us from Old French, thence from the Latin fragilis or frangere meaning to break. Tucked somewhere in there is the Indo-European bhreg and the Gothic brikan, both meaning to shatter. In modern parlance, the word means easily broken, damaged, delicate, brittle, frail, vulnerable, flimsy, lacking body, strength or substance.

Fragile things are assumed to be anything except robust or bright, and not vibrant by any means, but it isn't necessarily so. Fragile, bright, robust, vibrant and strong are not mutually exclusive, and they abide harmoniously together. Could anything be more fragile and at the same time, more vibrant and brimming with life than humans and the earth we share, the journey we are on together?

This is a good week for musing about the word fragile in a Friday ramble. Within a few days of learning that my soulmate was cancer free, I learned that I too have cancer, and I will undergo surgery this coming Wednesday, the procedure to be followed by a month or two of radiation and some form of long term chemotherapy. I considered not saying anything here at all (loathed the idea of seeing the words in print or on a computer screen) but in the end, I decided to to spill the beans and try to do it without wailing, whining or being a utter wimp. It goes without saying that I have written this post over and over again and am still not happy with it.  It is difficult to write or talk of such matters without going into panic mode.

There is discomfort ahead, but there is comfort in knowing that no matter how unpleasant the next few weeks are, I can trounce this thing, and by golly, I am going to do just that.  I am fortunate in having a wonderful oncologist, and the support of family, colleagues, and friends both near and far. Although I feel fragile, frayed and somewhat tattered at the moment, that will pass, and I have crafted a mantra to get me through rough moments: I am stronger than this, and this is making me stronger. This weekend, Himself and Spencer and I will replenish our inner directives in the Lanark woods and on the shores of our favorite lake. There is comfort in wild places, and perhaps there will be herons.

Most of next week's blog posts will be written in advance, but I will be back as soon as I can, and out among the trees too.  I won't be able to carry a camera and big camera bag for a while, but I always knew that my DVDs of archived photos would come in handy some day. Well, here it is.

15 comments:

Pienosole said...

I am sending you many healing thoughts and positive wishes. May your next weeks go as easily as possibly. Thank you for thinking of us, your readers, at this time. Hope our collective spirit brings you some comfort and support.

Wendi said...

All manner of healing, supportive energy and caring coming your way, Cate. So sorry you have to go down the road ahead, but I have no doubt you will not only survive the journey, but will somehow manage to find good along the way. Even if you're not evident on these pages in the next weeks, I will be thinking of you every day and wishing you strength and grace.

KViz said...

I cannot imagine starting my day without reading your beautiful blog. It takes me away from all the negative swirling around me. I should have left this pebble years ago!

Sending you healing thoughts and light!

Lindsay said...

Well. Blessings and healing to you, the author of the most beautiful blog I know.

Belle said...

I have been enjoying your posts for several years, and have never left a pebble.
Leaving one now, all the way from San Francisco, full of singing and support and healing, and a quick return to your Lanark rambles.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

we are perfect strangers you and i, but i read your posts as part of my daily devotional habits. may there be peace and strength from beyond yourself that carries you through what is to be. prayers for the days to come.

sarah said...

(((Hugs))) and many sincere best wishes for health and strength. I am so sorry you are going through this. :-(

Mystic Meandering said...

Just the other day I was thinking of how your posts and photos here show your deep love and appreciation for life, and your resolve to keep going no matter the setbacks. Of course I am saddened by this news, as you have already been through so much! May you be strengthened by your deep inner resolve for the journey ahead. Sending out prayers and heart hugs... <3

Maggie Emm said...

I've been waiting to hear how himself is and was so pleased to hear the good news - and then - !!! Love and prayers for you in this unexpected and difficult time xx

Lilian Nattel said...

Sending light and love, I am so glad to hear that you've got good support. I will be thinking of you and sending good energy. Hugs! Big hugs!

Guy said...

Cate, all my best, I will be thinking of you.

Guy

littlemancat said...

I have only found your beautiful blog recently and it is now one that I look at daily. Your sense of joy and love is demonstrated in your art. I'll be thinking of you, wishing you all the best.

Mary

What in the World said...

Dear Cate, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you my love and wishes for a complete recovery and perfect health!

Mary Fran

Rebecca said...

Oh my - i'm so sorry that you must go through this. I've visited your blog for many years, always appreciating the beauty and insight you bring. You are strong enough to get through this and you will become stronger for it. I know this because you have been through difficult times already and have still sought beauty and peace and to be able to do that in sadness and fear takes a great deal of courage and strength. May you continue to find peace, beauty, support and love. My thoughts and hopes are with you.

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

It is well past Wednesday and you are getting stronger with each day. I too walked a similar path and my best wishes are for you and yours. Fragile...not for long.