Friday, July 12, 2013

This is for Barbara

My sister Barb passed away in the wee hours of yesterday morning, the family at her side as she released her last breath back into the great wide world.  Her passing was peaceful, and coming when it did, a blessing - she was in such pain that it could no longer be held at bay with medication, and it was heartbreaking knowing that she was trying to hold on and communicate with us through her suffering.  I think I prayed every single night that the suffering would end, and that it would end soon.

We knew this day was coming, but there is no way one can ever really prepare for such an event in life, for such a soul rending rite of passage. There must be adjectives out there somewhere to describe such things, but I can't think of one at the moment.

Barb was one of the most radiant spirits ever to grace this earth. Although small in stature, she was incandescent with life and joy and an elemental grace. Somewhere, she still is all that, I know, but her departure leaves an aching rent in the fabric of the world for those of us who knew and loved her, and a hurtful hollow wind is blowing through the gap.

Wherever my sister journeys in the realms beyond this one, may sunlight and laughter and sweet moonlight enfold her; gentle breezes and bird musics attend her as she travels - may flowers spring up in her footprints as she moves blithely through the green fields of  Elysium.

It is difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that Barb is gone.  This morning I logged on here in the small hours and tried to think of something to say, but I sat here like a stone, and it was some time before any words popped out at all - selecting an image from my many ramblings to go with this post was difficult.Your sister loves you fiercely, Barb, and she misses you more than words can ever say.

22 comments:

Aisling said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Cate. You wrote so beautifully of your sister. Sending love and good energy your way.

Lee said...

I will be thinking of you and sending light to you and your family.

writersrest.com said...

Your words always shine, even in heartbreak. Love to you. -- Lindsay

Kameshwari said...

Condolences.

Pienosole said...

My condolences to you and your family. You've written beautifully of your sister and your feelings.

B. Rogers, Living in Black Mountain said...

Our species mourns the loss we feel at a loved one's death. I may be very strange, but I thought of another species of mammals that I dearly love, who mourn their dead in their own way, the elephants. Please don't think this any slight on your feelings.

Unknown said...
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Beth Owl's Daughter said...

My deepest condolences on your loss. I love how you are always able to transform your deepest feelings, even broken-hearted numbness and sorrow, into great beauty. This is a lovely tribute, and a glimpse of your true artistry. Thank you for sharing.

May she return in love.

Unknown said...
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Joanna Powell Colbert said...

Oh Cate! I wish I could be there in person just to hug you and let you weep, to make a cup of tea for you, and wrap a shawl around your shoulders. Please know that those who love you are bearing witness to your grief. Much love to you and your family.

Mystic Meandering said...

I am sorry for your loss and grief. And am also your sister has finally been relieved from her pain, as I know you are too. Those heart bonds are so difficult to lose. May your heart find comfort and may its emptiness be filled with Love...

What in the World said...

Dear Cate,
Sending you and Barbara Love and Light, you are both in my thoughts and prayers.
With Sympathy,
Mary Fran

Kiki said...

My heart is bleeding for you and you all who loved your sis. It must be horrifying to lose a sister - your beautiful testimonial is a dedication of your love for her. May God hold you and keep you - I will pray for all of you. Big hugs and heart-felt condolences
Kiki

Lynn said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Cate. May your sweet memories comfort you.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Dear Cate,
love you
and sending special
thoughts your way...

Maggie Emm said...

Such sad news, but good to hear that her suffering is over. There is something so special about a sister, and yours sounded special indeed. Love to you x

Jennifer said...

Deep condolences on the passing of your sister. Your tribute to her is beautiful and heartbreaking. May you find peace and comfort soon.

Loren said...

Condolences.

jzr said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. May you be filled with peace as time passes.

lu.ciole said...

My belated condolences.

Cindy said...

:(

Guy said...

Cate I am very sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

Guy