Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cultivating Clover Mind

A heartfelt thank you to those of you who commented here and sent messages after Cassie's passing last weekend. Your kind words were appreciated, and so much.

The little blue house in the village is very empty without my girl, and I am tired - there were so many nights of sitting up and holding her, of sleeping lightly, watching and listening for signs and sounds of distress. I would spend the rest of my life sleeping lightly if I could just have her back, lithe, healthy and exuberant - my little brown warrior really was a special girl.

There is a slight chill in the air around sunset these days. Canada geese are already flocking up and flying back and forth between the river and newly cropped hay fields. Sweet corn, summer squash, yellow beans, peppers and tomatoes are showing up at roadside stalls and weekend markets.

While we wait for the orderly (and disorderly) shapes of life to reassert themselves in the wake of Cassie's passing, we take long walks as always, peering up into the overstory and deeply into fields and hedgerows, watching leaves turn, the golden moon rising over our old trees and early autumn stars lighting up the August nights.

Sometimes, I can feel and hear my darling girl right there beside me - she always loved these late summer rambles, and she absolutely adored the sweet scent of clover.

8 comments:

Nina said...

I have been thinking of you often these last few weeks. I just read about Cassie. I'm so sorry.

Hugs, Linda

Inanna said...

I didn't take a walk for months after my sweet Lugh died. I joined the gym. I still haven't been back to some of the places where we walked; it's been 10 months.

I suspect I'll get back to some of those places though. We're adopting a dog again next week.

I can't write these comments without crying.

Dawn said...

you have been in my thoughts this week. And even after years I feel one of my dogs tagging along behind me or snuffling through the bushes as we walk.

hele said...

Words can not fill spaces left behind by those we loved but I want you to know that my heart aches for you and that you are in my heart while I walk my dogs.

smith kaich jones said...

Beautifully written, true thoughts straight from your heart. Now is the time to be kind to youself, let things stay soft for a while. Hold yourself close & take care.

Debi

GreenishLady said...

Oh, I've just returned from some time away with family, and find that Cassie has passed on. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that emptiness in the house, and I know that sense of our companions being still with us. I hope your heart is easy. Blessings to you.

tj said...

As a kid we'd pull the little pink bits out and suck on the sweetness. We called them honey sickle :). I love how you pull me back to my childhood constantly. <3

Rowan said...

I've only just read of Cassie's passing into the Summerlands, I am so very sorry. I'm sure that she walks with you still in spirit. I'm glad that at least she passed peacefully and quietly with those she loved at her side.