Monday, July 21, 2008

Hard Rain

Over the almost three years since I started this place, I have made a habit of being here and writing something every single day, the sole exceptions to my doing so being those (thankfully rare) occasions when malignant gremlins were rampaging through the works at Blogger, and I couldn't get in here at all.

Over the next week or two, I may not be here much, and that is something new. I will try to do the usual thing in the morning, but my heart just isn't in it right now, and I don't know how things are going to go for the next while. There may be a few words from time to time, but there are probably going to be a lot of silences here, and there will be many posts containing only a photo.

I wrote about her diagnosis some time ago, but my little brown girl Cassie is nearing the end of her life, and all that really matters to me right now is being with my darling girl: taking the short walks with her that she can still take, feeding her by hand and giving her water, just being there with her as she takes her final steps out of this plane of existence and into the next. It hurts like Hades, and I can't imagine future ramblings without her. I may have to give them up for a while.

25 comments:

joanna said...

Dear Sister Cate Mermaid, I will be whispering prayers for you and for Cassie to the Great Mystery. Blessed be.

Ernestine said...

Cate, prayers will be continually coming from my heart for you and your special companion.
Blessings and love sent your way at this moment.

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear Cate, cherish these special moments with Cassie. You will all be in my prayers so that things are easier and not so painful. I wish I were there with you.
Lots of love
Louise

Pilar said...

You've given so many (including myself) so much inspiration for such a long while...Thank you from my heart, and know that I'll be holding an image of peace for you there for however long you need. I'm so sad to hear this news.

panther said...

I am thinking of you and Cassie very much. What a beautiful thing your friendship is !

My beloved ginger cat Moshi died two days ago tomorrow. I think of him every day, with love and gratitude. The pain DOES ease, but Cassie will always be a part of you.

panther said...

I'm sorry-I meant to say two YEARS ago.

kenju said...

I'm so sorry.

jzr said...

Special prayers for you and Cassie. I understand what you are going through and my heart is full of light and healing for you both.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

It is no wonder that you feel that you can't concentrate on your blog. Cassie needs you now. We will be here when you decide to return.

I wish you both much love and peace.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Cassie's illness. I definitely would do what you are doing. I loved the photo you posted of her in May, by the way.

Thinking of you.

Lil said...

sitting in hades with you Cate...and surround you and Cassie with reiki light.

love,
lil xo

Cindy said...

Cate, you are in my heart and prayers. I've been down that awful road before, and will again all too soon with my precious Betony. Light and love surround you and Cassie.

What in the World said...

Dear Cate,
How truly blessed you've been to have each other! Sending you and Cassie my love, and keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Mary Fran

Loren said...

(o)

Words always fail me at moments like this.

smith kaich jones said...

I haven't been visiting here very long, and didn't know of your heartbreak. You are doing the right thing, as you already know.
Know also that prayers & love & warm thoughts are coming your way.

Please take care. We are shoulders to cry on if you feel the need.

Love, Debi

Tabor said...

So sorry Cate. I think I know how you feel. It is so hard to see someone you love in pain, knowing they are taking the long goodbye. We will miss you, but also know that you are preparing for the inevitable self-healing.

smith kaich jones said...

I must add something. My best friend, Maggie the cat, is in the early stages of kidney failure. Monday - Friday my wonderful, wonderful boyfriend gives her an injection while I hold her. She sees the vet every Saturday, and Sunday she is much relieved to be left quite alone. I have felt so alone in this, that So many people must surely think I am crazy for going to this much trouble. But I have found in the blogosphere many, many, many souls who understand.

Cate - take the time you need. I will when the time comes for me.
Panther - please hold yourself close & consider it a hug from me.

Love, Debi

Dawn said...

Peace for you and Cassie. I know what you are going through. you are not alone sweet Cate.

tj said...

Prayers go out to you and dear Cassie. <3tj

Jaspenelle said...

Words fail me at times like this so I just want to say *hugs* my prayers are with you and Cassie, you are such an inspiration to me...

Cathy said...

Thoughts and prayers to you as you help Cassie to return to the Old Wild Mother...

Cathy

Shelli said...

Cate, you and dear Cassie are in my prayers. Whether you are here or not, your photos are with me everyday.

Livia Indica said...

I know you will do what is best for you and Cassie. You are wise enough to know to cherish these times. And know that you will see Cassie in the Summerlands.

Barbara said...

Cate,

Bless your heart as you care for your little friend and family member Cassie. You are so right that it's inconceivable to say good-bye to such a dear friend. I understand and cherish the memories of Punkin, Daisy, and Tobey - each a dear, sweet friend of mine.

If you have never read it, please search the net for The Rainbow Bridge as that story is what I believe must be true for those who share such deep love.

Hugs to you.

May you be at peace. Blessings - Barbara

Wenda said...

(( )) Just want you to know that I care.