Saturday, November 11, 2006

Inukshuk (Vägmarken)

This morning is an inukshuk of sorts, one marking my first anniversary in the realm of blog. Last November, when I sat down here in front of a blank screen, I was in a state of dismay and panic, having just learned that I was being compulsarily retired from my post in a large downtown law firm. Who me? Old? True to form, I responded to the perplexing news by wrapping up warmly, taking a long walk around the village and partaking of a classic cold (and very somber) November day.

In the days and weeks before leaving, I cleared out my office, the art and plants finding new homes at the firm, and a few coming home to join me in retirement. The last day of my employment fell a few days after Yule, and I wrote farewell to friends here as there was not enough time to say goodbye to everyone personally.

Last year at this time, I had absolutely no idea what would become of me, but I thought that committing the process of "letting go" to a blog might be therapeutic and perhaps even a tad enlightening. I was returning at last to the wild places I have always loved so much. Perhaps I could excavate there and recover something of the voice which had been submerged under a frenetic career and heaps of work responsibilities for so many years.

These are vägmarken (or vague territories) indeed. The dismay and sadness of last November seems trite and silly now, but the anguish was very real at the time. A year later, I am somewhat older and more gnarled, and I have a better camera (but I still take a lot of bad photos). I am fortunate in having made wise and incandescent friends here who are wonderful companions for the journey, and I have taken my vows as a novice in the Church of the Old Mermaids.

I am a little quieter, more thoughtful and perhaps more patient now, but I am still the same old hen travelling the same old mindful path - perhaps I shall "get things right" one of these days (or months or years or lifetimes). Life is good, and it feels right to be here. Looking back over blog entries of the past year, I am still particularly fond of We Are Made of Light, Stormy Weather, and Distant Shores.

Thank you, thank you, all of you. . . .

15 comments:

Endment said...

First of all we celebrate your entry into the realm of blog and thank you for the joy and inspiration you have shared during this past year.

We celebrate with you this landmark in blogging
Happy Blogging!
Here is to many more photos (especially since we never see the "bad")
May friendships remain incandescent add new lights to the glow in the days ahead.

bev said...

It seems that you have made wonderful and creative use of the year since beginning your journey along a new path. Some things must be left behind in order to move onwards.
I enjoyed reading the chosen reflections you chose to mark the passage of this year. And, as always, your photographs are beautiful.

silverlight said...

Age discrination is what it was.
My husband is a victum of that too.
Their retribution will get them. But, we will all be long gone.
It is nice that blog gave a place to express your feelings.
I love your writings.

lené said...

Happy One Year! I always enjoy your posts, your gentle spirit that comes through in your writing, and your photographs.

(Gnarled is the last word I think of when thinking of you.)

Tim Rice said...

Beautiful photos! And happy blog anniversary!

Tabor said...

Your blog has always been a rewarding visit for me. I am trying to think what it would be like to be a graphics artist in a law firm. Isn't that like being the cleaning lady at the stadium or the French chef at the bunkhouse or maybe the landscaper at the car races? I also know that my job anguish is trite and will pass, but when you are going through it, it is hard to ignore the pain and rise above it all.

robin andrea said...

Happy one year blogging anniversary. Our lives are enriched by your retirement. The time you now have to spend searching for the beautiful light, the fog, the quintessential moment is rewarded with glimpses of astonishing beauty.

Caroline said...

hi kerrdelune

This post departs from your normally descriptive and poetic writing. You have become such an important part of my day, and I've wanted to ask "why?" and "how?" and "when?" and "what?" and "who?" but it seemed like you wanted to keep that private.

I got a lot our of your story. Transitions, or junctures, really, are difficult, especially when you have not chosen them.

I celebrate your gaze, your heart and your pen.

claude said...

Happy anniversary. I came to your blog thanks to endment.
I will come back and read more, but this post sends me back to the time when I retired two years ago. I didn't know then that I would enjoy retirement so much. Thanks for sharing and thank you for those poetic photos.
h

LauraHinNJ said...

Happy First Year to you!

Looking forward to the next.

Kim Antieau said...

Happy anniversary! Thank you for all your beautiful words and photographs.

Rowan said...

Happy First Anniversary! I discovered your blog only recently but it is now the first I look at every day, your prose writing and the wonderful photographs of the beauty surrounding you are an inspiration - your new path in life is giving pleasure to many people. I hope it is providing you with equal pleasure and fulfilment.

Lia said...

May your blog long continue, it is a daily source of inspiration for me. Thank you. Lia

Mousie said...

Thank you for being here and being who you are...
love from Mousie

JLB said...

Happy Birthday to your blog! You have truly created a special place here, and it's always a pleasure to stop in and hear your thoughts, and see your lovely photos. I hope your next year is equally as enlightening.